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Friday, April 1, 2022

2022 OSCAR RANT

 FINALLY...things are looking like they used to.  We are back at the Oscars' home at the Dolby Theater in downtown Hollywood.  and we have Hosts again! first time since 2018!  Phew....

94th Oscars 
Sunday, March 27, 2022
8 PM
Hosts: Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes and Regina Hall

8 pm: The Show opens with Serena and Venus Williams who are here tonight for their biopic "King Richard".  Not loving Venus' Elie Saab white wide open gown.  I feel like a nipple slip can happen at any minute.  I really do not Like Serena's Gucci watermelon colored, sheer dress with black rose embellishments and black lace gloves.  Nope. no good girl, Serena is one of my worst dressed of the night. 

8:03 pm: Beyonce performs her nominated song "Be Alive" from the movie "King Richard".  Her gigantic green and black earrings look like sushi.  I don't love her short David Koma lime green feather and sheer fabric dress.  She wears a diamond garter on her leg that looks like it costs more than a Ferrari.  She's so proud of the city of Compton and performing there, yet she does not own a house there. She lives in Bel Air. Hmmm...

8:07 pm: The three hosts appear... Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes and Regina King.  DJ Khaled walks across the stage and starts cheering for the hosts and ramping the audience.  It's pointless and not funny.  Why was he even invited?  
    Amy Schumer is wearing a navy Oscar de la Renta dress with a big black and silver glittered bow down the front.  It fits well but I just don't love it.  
    I do however LOVE Wanda Sykes' Christian Sirano white suit.  I love the greek goddess draping on the left shoulder.  I love her hair and make-up and jewelry.  Perfection.  One of my Best Dressed of the night. 
    Regina Hall wore a beautiful brown, sheer Vera Wang dress on the red carpet but for the show's                 opening she changed into a different Vera Wang dress.  This one I don't like as much.  Its white tube top is not elegant enough for me.  It would have made a better after party dress.  Wish she hadn't changed her dress.  The Opening jokes fall flat.  I miss Billy Crystal.

8:12 pm: Praise for Samuel L. Jackson who got an Honorary Oscar for his lifetime achievement in film.  Although, I would have preferred if the gentleman was awarded the prize during the live viewing of the award show.  Let's get rid of the corny, forced fed opening jokes and let the man speak.

8:15 pm: Amy Schumer does a little stand-up.  You could tell she was quite nervous but she did well.  The Leonardo DiCaprio and the Lucille Ball jokes were funny.  

8:17 pm: Kristen Stewart's Chanel look is extremely inappropriate for a black tie affair.  She's wearing black shorts, a black jacket, and a wide open white shirt.  This is the Oscars, not a club.  This show has been graced with the presence of Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, and Jessica Tandy.  Have some respect. 
One of my worst dressed of the night.  

8:18 pm: Singer H.E.R is wearing a lime green dress similar to Beyonce's color.  It is a very short, simply draped Carolina Herrera dress with a train.  Cute hair.  Daniel Kaluuya looks sharp in an aquamarine Prada jacket.  

8:21 pm: First time nominee and first time winner, Ariana DeBose for best supporting actress in "West Side Story".  She is wearing a red Valentino suit with a skimpy top and long cape.  The slacks are so elegant I wish the top was too.  

8:23 pm: Oh my gosh.  Jessie Buckley looked gorgeous in "The Lost Daughter".  And tonight her red hair is in a bowl cut and slicked to her forehead.  Her pink Erdem dress is terribly wrinkled.  Yikes, train wreck.  One of my worst dressed of the night. 

8:25 pm: I do not like Nicole Kidman's gray Armani Prive dress.  It has these triangles on her chest and a big puff on her waistline.  It looks like arm rests she can use when her hands get tired from clapping.  One of my worst dressed. 

8:30 pm: Host Regina Hall has changed into a lilac Jason Wu dress.  The ruffles and zipper down the front are too much for me.  The COVID test results bit was funny at first but when she starts to pat down Josh Brolin and Jason Moana it becomes cringeworthy.  I mean Come on, if a male actor ever started patting down a female actress on stage and make lewd jokes the media would have his head on a silver platter.  Social media would have him "cancelled" as the new generation says.  The #MeToo movement would go nuts.  Sexually harassment rules have to go both ways, no double-standards.  Can't believe this skit was okayed by producers. 

8:32 pm: Timothee Chalamet is in part of a Louis Vuitton suit.  Black pants, sequin jacket and a missing shirt.  I'm so confused by this arrogance.  First of all it's inappropriate, second he doesn't even have a masculine body.  It is very prepubescent.  One of my worst dressed. 

8:33 pm: "Dune" wins for Best Sound.

8:35 pm: Rosie Perez, Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson come on stage for the 30th anniversary of "White Man Can't Jump".  Rosie Perez looks nice in a red off the shoulder Christian Siriano dress, Harrelson looks handsome as ever.  Snipes doesn't look too good.  He looks extremely skinny and sickly. He is wearing an odd maroon Givenchy short suit. He's one of my worst dressed.   

8:37 pm: "Dune" wins Best Cinematography 

8:40 pm: My Lord! Maggie Gyllenhaal's Schiaparelli dress is a horror.  It's so matronly.  The giant off the shoulder strap and these clunky gold things glued to it.  They look like coat hangers.  By far, one of my worst dressed of the night. 

8:47 pm: "Dune" wins for Best Visual Effects

8:50 pm: Alana Haim looks great in a white scalloped Louis Vuitton long sleeved dress.  

8:57 pm: "Dos Oruguitas" from "Encanto" is performed by Sebastian Yatra.

8:59 pm: That is a wild light blue suit Kodi Smit-McPhee is wearing.  With matching platform boots, very Beatles like. 

9:02 pm: "Encanto" wins Best Animated Film. Poor Lin-Manuel Miranda is absent because his wife tested Covid positive prior to show. 

9:12 pm: Wanda Sykes has switched into a beautiful black sequin suit.  She does a funny skit while visiting the New Academy Museum of Motion Pictures.  Although, part of me feels like it's a free advertisement for the new $480,000 project.  Too bad tourism to California is extremely low right now. 

9:17 pm: Last year's Best Supporting Actress winner, Youn Yuh-jung, is here to award the Best Supporting actor award.  In her broken English she always seems so sincere and humorous.  The award goes to first time nominee, first time winner, Troy Kotsur.  After, Marlee Matlin (his wife in the film) he is the second deaf person to win an Oscar for acting.  Huge standing ovation and congratulations in sign language.  His speech about his father is absolutely heart wrenching.  The actor signed while a voice-over spoke for him. 

9:29 pm: ugh not loving Tiffany Haddish's bleach blond hair.  Also, not loving her tight dark green Dolce and Gabbana dress.  Its is pencil straight with a train that looks like an after thought.  Her jokes are lame.  I just don't ever think she is funny.  Simu Liu wears a very loud red Versace tux. 

9:31 pm: "Drive My Car" wins Best International Film for Japan! 

9:33 pm: Mila Kunis looks nice is a blush colored Zuhair Murad gown. She was born in the Ukraine and speaks about the devastating war there.  

9:34 pm: Reba McEntire sings her song "Somehow You Do" from the film "Four Good Days".  She looks ageless in a long sleeved, black Dolce and Gabbana dress that has a sequin embellishment at the waist.  One of my best dressed of the night. 

9:38 pm: Maya Rudolph is there to support her partner, Paul Thomas Anderson for his movie "Licorice Pizza".  Once again she is wearing a giant sac.  It is a no form, flowing orange Valentino smock with feather embellishments. I don't understand her fashion sense, EVER.  She is not a huge woman so why does she always dress like an obese, washed up 75 year old soap opera star?? Perplexing.  One of my worst dressed of the night. 

9:40 pm: Known for dressing a little wacky at previous Oscars I have to give Olivia Coleman credit for her long sleeved, silver, pleated, Maria Grazia Chiuri dress.  One of my best dressed of the night. 

9:42 pm: I think Lupita Nyong'o's gold Prada dress is way too busy.  It has sequins and fringe and this white balls on the top.  Very gaudy.  One of my worst dressed. But I do love her gold eyeglass frames.  I like Ruth E. Carter's Jovana Louis black skirt with a sculpted white cape.  

9:43 pm: "Cruella" wins best costume design.  Jenny Beaven that British wild child.  She wearing what looks like a black tux with a bit of a tulle skirt and a dog shaped purse?  Gotta love her. 

9:51 pm: "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from the animated winner "Encanto" is performed.  Nice performance but it's odd that is sung since it's not nominated tonight.  Again, something like this could have been cut and they could have let Samuel L. Jackson receive his lifetime achievement Oscar.  

9:53 pm: Queen Latifah looks great in a yellow Pamella Roland dress with a long patterned yellow shawl.  

9:56 pm: Wanda Sykes comes out dressed as Will Smith from "King Richard".  She's wearing a red sweater, mini white shorts, and a beard while pushing a shopping cart of tennis balls.  Regina Hall comes out as Tammy Faye Baker, tons of make-up on her face.  She's wearing a white dress with giant shoulder pads and carrying a little doll.  Amy Schumer drops from the air dressed as Spiderman and sprays silly string.  It gets a few laughs and then is over.  For all that preparation the skit should have lasted longer.

10:00 pm: Kenneth Branagh wins Best Original Screenplay for "Belfast". 

10:02 pm: "CODA" wins Best Adapted Screenplay.  Sian Heder shines bright in what looks like a shattered mirror, long-sleeved, Michael Kors dress.  She speaks while a translator behind her signs her acceptance speech. 

10:12 pm: Hans Zimmer wins Best Score for "Dune"

10:14 pm: Billie Eilish performs "No Time to Die" from the James Bond film.  She's wearing a very simple black, off the shoulder collared shirt with wide black pants.  This is nothing compared to her hugely ruffled, black Gucci dress with huge train on the red carpet.  That dress made her one of my worst dressed of the night.  good thing she changed.  Beautiful voice, as always. 

10:21 pm: "Dune" wins Best Film Editing 

10:23 pm: Wanda and Regina do a painful skit about consolation prizes.  ugh It's terrible.  Although, I do love Wanda's brown glittered tux that she changed into.  All her tuxes throughout the night have be gorgeous. 

10:24 pm: Dame Judy Dench looks beautiful in a long white Dolce and Gabbana dress, with a matching long sleeved to the floor coat.  Pearls lining it.  One of my best dressed of the night.

10:25 pm: Chris Rock comes on stage.  (We all know what happens next.  I don't want this nonsense to overshadow some amazing feats that were accomplished tonight.)  Jada Pinkett Smith suffers from a disease called Alopecia, which causes a person to lose body hair.  She has shaved her head to even out bald spots.  She is wearing a gorgeous, dark green, long sleeved, Jean Paul Gaultier gown with a train miles long.  
Chris Rock makes a joke towards Jada, saying she going to be starring in "G.I. Jane 2".  This comment upsets Jada and at first Will Smith is laughing but he must of saw she was pissed and he felt compelled to defend her.  Words are ones best source of defense but instead Will unfortunately chose violence.  He walks on stage to an unsuspecting Chris Rock and slaps him across the face.  Rock is stunned.  Will Smith smiles as he returns to his seat and curses Rock multiple times from his chair.  Should he have been escorted out??  Wasn't Chris Rock just assaulted?? and where was security?? This is outrageous! 

Chris Rock acts professional and is quick to recover and continues to fulfill his duty that he is there for which is to give out the Oscar for Best Documentary.  
Thank goodness Troy Kotsur received his Oscar before this garbage went down. 

10:29 pm: Questlove wins best Documentary for "Summer of Love".  He gets choked up. 

10:31 pm: Penelope Cruz looks stunning in a black Chanel dress.  The top is a corset cut lined with buttons down the front, it has a beautiful sequined bow at her neck line.  The skirt half is very puffy.  Remarkably simple and yet gorgeous.  One of my top best dressed for the night. 

10:34 pm: a tribute to 50 years of the "Godfather".  Very odd sound track to the film clips!?!?! Why is this to rap music?  Why isn't it played to the CLASSIC theme song??? 

LISTEN! Stop trying to appeal to the younger crowd, Academy, it's foolish.  They aren't watching this show!! The artists and intellectuals are.  No young people of the new generation watch the Oscars.  It's a four hour live show with COMMERCIALS.  The current generation lives 24 hours on social media and streams everything.  They have has no patience for the Oscars. So stop the nonsense.  Stop writing corny jokes, stop trying to entertain children who are in bed before the show even starts, stop doing tons of musical numbers, this is the Academy Awards not the Grammys, not the VMAs.  This is about the art of film and talented artists.  A craft we have been celebrating since 1929!! 30 years before the first Grammys ever aired! 
    If the Academy needs further proof the current generation doesn't care about artsy films they asked the public to vote for their "fan favorite movie" this year and they voted for a stupid zombie movie.  What does that say??? to me it speaks VOLUMES.  Know your fan base! and don't graffiti on a Monet.  The new generation wants to be entertained not inspired.  Instead of getting more young viewers just try not losing the few royals you have left.  Focus on getting better comedians to host with more experience and talent, bring back the awards that you pushed out this year just so people could shimmy on stage. Bring back the honorary Oscar.  Stop letting the show be a political forum and make off-colored jokes about certain states (eg: Florida, Texas.)   You're pushing whatever viewers you have left in these states away... and you need every old soul you can get.  Reminder: not all movie fans live in Blue states. 
   Since 1998 the ratings for the Oscars have slowly dropped and ratings have dramatically dropped in the last few years.  This reminds me of when I worked for a bookstore chain that was not doing financially well, they panicked and instead of diving further into the love of books and reaching out to the hundreds of bookworms left in the world they tried to pull in the younger crowd by selling music and movies.  It was a huge mistake with terrible consequences.  They should have created their own publishing team, had more book signing, more book discussion groups, things that would inspire readers instead they tried to bring in customers who had absolutely no passion for reading and were never going to.  This led them to bankruptcy and eventually out of business. I see the producers of the Academy Awards going down that same road.  And I'm saying this as a person who has watched the Oscars since the 80s and has hosted an Oscar party in 2003.  WAKE UP! and one last thing why can't they air the show on a Saturday night rather than a Sunday?? That way my party guests don't have to leave early cause they have work Monday morning! 

10:35 pm: Director Francis Ford Coppola, Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino come out on stage in honor of the "Godfather".   Short speech from Coppola and then he walks quickly off stage.  He looks like he is heading straight home to bed.  

10:39 pm: In Memorian.  Tyler Perry speaks about Sidney Poitier.  Bill Murray speaks about Ivan Reitman.  Jamie Lee Curtis talks about Betty Davis while holding a puppy.  Jamie is wearing a bad, navy, turtleneck, Stella McCartney dress.  One of my worst dressed of the night. This upbeat choir singing is a bit much.  I like when it's just one artist with a guitar.  Bob Saget, Norm Macdonald, and Ed Asner were so of the names left out of this segment. Yet, they have room for executive producers or talent agents.  Definitely shame on them for Asner.  Even, the new generation saw "Up". 

10:50 pm: Best Production Design goes to "Dune".

10:52 pm: Ugh not feeling Zoe Kravitz boring pink Saint Laurent dress.  Her hair is boring too.  Poor choice for such a unique individual.  Best Original Song goes to Billie Eilish for "No Time to Die".  She's super excited. 

10:54 pm: Rita Moreno looks amazing for 90 in her Carolina Herrera black two piece with slacks, complete with black and white feathers in her hair.  

10:56 pm: Kevin Costner presents the award for Best Director to Jane Campion for "The Power of the Dog".  That makes it two years in a row that a female has won best director and only three women in history since Kathryn Bigelow won in 2009.  Campion is wearing a terrible black Christian Dior tent of a dress.  One of my worst dressed. 

11:06 pm: An Honor for the random 28 years since the film "Pulp Fiction".  John Travolta has finally decided to shave his head and stop wearing very obvious hairpieces, Samuel L. Jackson looks awesome in a black velvet suit jacket and Uma is wearing a silk white collared shirt and long black Bottega Veneta silk skirt.  The shirt is buttoned up to her neck.  I know this wardrobe is a homage to the clothes she wore in "Pulp Fiction" but I wish she had undid the top bottom and added a necklace.  She looks too stuffy.  One of my worst dressed of the night. 

11:07 pm: Will Smith wins Best Actor for "King Richard".  He repeatedly speaks about protecting his family and his cast members.   He apologizes to his fellow nominees and to the academy.  He ends his speech with saying "I hope the academy invites me back". I'm sure they will because they didn't escort him out.  He still got to enjoy the rest of the show.  Sitting in the audience, laughing and smiling like it ain't no thing.  Meanwhile, Chris Rock did not escalate the moment.  After he was assaulted he went back stage to speak to the producers and the LAPD where he refused to press charges.  He then left the Oscars.  So that was how he got to spend his night at the show while Will was living it up.  I do think Will needs to makes amends and apologize to Chris Rock face to face and not just via twitter.  After Will hit Chris Denzel Washington tried to calm Will down and enlighten him with these wise words "At your highest moment, Be careful, that's when the devil comes for you."  

After the slap Will Smith's 23 year old son, Jaden tweeted "And that's How We Do It".  Classy.  Makes you wonder what morales they teach their children at home.  I feel so bad for Chris Rock's daughters who had to watch their father get assaulted on stage.  
I see quite a lot of the public and celebrities are taking Will Smith's side which basically means these people condole violence which is very sad for our society. 

11:20 pm: Best Hair and Makeup go to "The Eyes of Tammy Faye".  Tammy Faye herself deserved an Oscar for doing that makeup every day.  

11:21 pm:  Amy Schumer makes jokes and definitely lightens the mood.  She says "I've been getting out of that Spiderman costume, did I miss anything?" Funny. and it's ad lib.  She does a funny "seat filler" joke with Kirsten Dunst, who looks quite nice in a red ruffled, strapless, Christian Lacroix dress. 

11:23 pm: Anthony Hopkins is here to presents the Oscar for Best Actress.  He did not attend last year to win his Best Actor award due to covid so this year he gets a standing ovation.  He is the least Hollywood person ever, besides the fact that he lives in England.  He has no time for the show's nonsense.  So he says to Will Smith, "yes, Will, lets now have peace, and love and quiet."  Best Actress goes to Jessica Chastain for "The Eyes of Tammy Faye".  Love her gold and lilac Gucci gown.  Very frilly on the bottom.  I was worried Hopkins was going to trip on it.  One of my best dressed of the night.  She speaks out about suicide prevention, something that she has endured with the loss of her sister in 2003.  

11:33 pm: Liza Minnelli comes out in a wheelchair with Lady Gaga to present Best Picture.  It's the 50th anniversary of "Cabaret".  Liza seems very confused.  She has had a long history of poor health, most recently diagnosed with encephalitis, which causes brain swelling.  Still she is a legend, just like her mother was.  Lady Gaga is wearing a sexy, slick Ralph Lauren sequin tux.  one of my best dressed. 

Best Picture goes to "CODA".  Amazing.  Marlee Matlin looks awesome in a long sleeved, red silk, Monique Lhuillier dress.  First film with a predominately deaf cast to win best FILM. And first streaming film to win Best Picture. This is the wave of the future.  

See You Next Year! 


BEST DRESSED: Penelope Cruz
WORST DRESSED: Maggie Gyllenhaal