Search

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

2019 Golden Globes Rant

The 76th Golden Globes Awards
Sunday, January 6, 2019: 8 pm
Hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh

8 pm: First let's think of how hard it is to be a host and make everyone in the room laugh.  Most people knock it but have never actually tried it.  Andy and Sandra make small jokes about the Oscars having no host.  Message is there is no freedom of speech, not with modern technology. Sandra wear a simple v-neck red dress.

8:11 pm: the Jim Carrey bit was funny.  Elisabeth Moss is wearing a tiny navy Dior dress. Doesn't really fit the event.  I'm so over Charlize Theron's millionth boring Dior dress.

8: 13 pm: I like Bradley Cooper's white tux and Lady Gaga's longed trained off the shoulders blue Valentino dress with blue hair look.  The necklace is mesmerizing. Michael Douglas wins best actor in a comedy tv series for the "Kominsky Method".  He looks very old and has zero to none eyebrows.  He thanks his 102 year old father, Kirk Douglas.  

 8:16 pm: The Black Panther cast: Chadwick Boseman looks dapper in his white satin tux.  Danai Gurira looks great in a sexy one shoulder red Rodarte dress.  I don't love Lupita Nyong'o blue fringe Calvin Klein dress or her glasses.  Can Michael B. Jordan ever look bad?? (fan of his since "The Wire")

8:19 pm: "Spider-Man: into the Spider-verse" wins best animated film over Disney's "Incredibles 2".

8:25 pm: Emma Stone loves wearing peach and yet the color always washes her out especially in this Louis Vuitton dress and the red eye shadow is a miss.  Rachel Weisz loves to wear black and white.  This top of the Celine dress looks like the puffy shirt from "Seinfeld". and I don't love the short hair cut on Olivia Colman.  The top of her black Stella McCartney dress looks too much like fish net stockings. 

8: 26 pm: I like Kaley Cuoco's navy top with white skirt Monique Lhuillier dress.  Like Johnny Galecki's sequin tux jacket.

8:30 pm: "The Americans" wins best drama tv series.  Allison Janney is wearing a beautiful light blue long sleeved, off the shoulder Christian Siriano dress...long sleeves just always make dresses look so elegant.  

8:38 pm: Wow! just like Colin Hanks sounds exactly like his dad Tom...John David Washington sounds exactly like his dad, Denzel. 

8:39 pm: this is the night of v-neck dresses and smashed boobs.  Theses actresses' boobs look so taped and smashed down you think there was a hurricane coming. Not flattering.  Taraji P. Henson has on a green velvet v-neck Vera Wang dress w smashed boobs and Gina Rodriguez has on a nicer light blue very glittered v-neck Reem Acra dress. 

8:42 pm: Jamie Lee Curtis looks 85 years old.  Hate the died white hair and pencil drawn brown eye brows.  Makes her forehead look huge.  She looks like an 1980s Brigitte Nielson.  The star earrings should have been  a simple dangling tread.  I do Love her white and gold Alexander Wang dress though. Her body is great. 

8:44 pm: Patricia Arquette wins best actress in a limited tv series for "Escape From Dannemora."  Her black Vivian Westwood dress is so tight up top, her boobs are pooling out the top, same as last time she won.  Do love her black glasses.  First person to be bleeped. good speech.

8:52 pm: Lucy Lui hands down worst dressed. What is this an art project?? It looks like she had a pink gown on and then a food fight broke out.  Then too late she threw a clear poncho over herself to protect her gown.  (Designer was Galia Lahav.) 

8:53 pm: Steve Carrell gives the first "Carrol Burnett Award" to her for a life time achievement in t.v. I've always admired her. They show funny clips from her variety show.  Her speech is mostly dedicated to her cast and crew for that show.  She wears a black dress with a pretty gold Bob Mackie coat...very age appropriate.  

9:04 pm: I'm loving Taylor Swift's black off the shoulders diamond cut out netted Versace dress. Idris Elba wears a green tux. Very handsome. "First Man" wins best score.

9:06 pm: "Shallow" from "A Star is Born" wins best song.  That was obvious. Lady Gaga has a beautiful voice but Bradley Cooper surprises.  Beautiful song...good job again, Mark Ronson.

9:14 pm: the audience is so loud in background. Damn drunks. hahaha. Funny moment with Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.. they show their most inspiring moments from the past Golden Globes which is when they both won awards. hahah. 

9:15 pm: Octavia Spencer looks great in a black sequin Christian Siriano dress.  What kind of S and M torture Louis Vuitton tux is Timothee Chalamet wearing?? 

9:17 pm: Regina King finally wins an award!  She's been in the business for over 30 years.  Hot pink sequin Roberta Ferretti dress. Gives a moving speech about hiring more women in the film industry.  

9:21 pm: Megan Mullally walks on stage and says "we're available to Regina." Damn, I love her but I kinda hate her navy wrinkled dress and flat straight hair, not flattering.  Kristen Bell always looks like a little fairy. nice pink v-neck Zuhair Murad dress and simple natural hair. Sandra Oh wins best actress in a t.v. drama for "Killing Eve".
Just putting this out there...Megan Mullally and her husband Nick Offerman to host the Oscars???

9:28 pm: ha Sandra Oh comes back from commercial break with her award in hand. Samberg is jealous. Ok, so I've said this a million times but its clear Maya Rudolph has no stylist.  Year after year her dresses suck! this year is no different....a layered bathrobe Valentino black dress. It makes her look pregnant. Her hair looks wet and a mess.  Amy Poehler looks nice in a pale green Viktor and Rolf dress with black bottom.  Mahershala Ali wins best supporting actor for "Green Book."  

9:32 pm: Maya Rudolph does a dumb sketch where she proposes to Amy Poehler.  Not funny...zzz fest.  Best screenplay goes to "Green Book".  

9:39 pm: Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy present as a couple. love her simple gold Laura Basci dress but again the flat boobies, makes her looks too skinny.  Best supporting actress in a tv series goes to  Patricia Clarkson for "Sharp Objects".  I feel like She always wears red?

9:42 pm: Saoirse Ronan's Gucci dress color is "see thru" and silver.  I love the green earrings but hate the orange lips and slicked down hair.  Best actor in a musical/ comedy goes to Christian Bale for "Vice".  Who compares Dick Chaney to Satin. haha he's so cockney. such good make up for that role, wow.  

9:50 pm: I'm so bias against color.  Catherine Zeta-Jones wears a green fanned top one shoulder Elie Saab gown.. wish is was black or purple but she is beautiful.  

9:52 pm: Best foreign language film goes to "Roma".  well deserved, it is flawless.  

9:55 pm: Amber Heard wears an odd black and white Monique Lhuillier dress, it's simple but the proportions seem off.  Very pretty girl but she looks completely dazed.

10:03 pm:  Why is Chris Pine presenting the Cecil B. DeMille award to Jeff Bridges? .. I know they did one movie together but come one... Julianna Moore knows him better.  Sam Elliot does the narration which is cool.  Anyway, Jeff can do no wrong.  He really does sound like "the dude".  Moving speech about ship propellers and how we all can make a positive change in the world.  

10:25 pm: Best actress tv series comedy goes to Rachel Brosnahan for the "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel."  ok yellow Prada dress. kinda washes her out. Best tv comedy series goes to "the Kominsky method".

10:35 pm: Emily Blunt always looks elegant, in a silver sequin cut out Alexander McQueen dress.  Dick Van Dyke is 93 years old and walks out with a cane. He is very charming.  

10:37 pm: Halle Berry looks amazing in her red Zuhair Murad long sleeved dress. She's like Jennifer Lopez...she doesn't age. Best tv mini series goes to "the Assassination of Gianni Versace".  Powerful speech about gay rights.

10:45 pm: Once again Anne Hathaway is dressed like a fool. With a leather and sheer leopard print Elie Saab dress with a big ugly slit in front. (just cause it's a famous designer doesn't mean it should be worn on a red carpet).  Jessica Chastain in a forgettable black Burberry dress.  I don't like her slicked back pony tail hair or her orange earrings. They present Olivia Colman with best actress in a leading role in a comedy/musical film.  Her speech is very funny and natural.  Thanking the staff for the sandwiches and her "bitches" Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz.  Britains always say the most hilarious outlandish things.  

10:47 pm: call me old fashion but I just don't get Janelle Monae's fashion sense...a navy knit Chanel dress with a long t-shirt hanging out the bottom with a Cleopatra beaded neck line and a stupid non-matching gold hat. too much. You're wearing a Chanel dress and Coco Chanel was famous for saying "before you leave the house take off one accessory"....words of wisdom.

10:53 pm: Wow, Mike Myers looks blotted in his suit...like the neck is too tight or something. Julia Roberts is wearing a beautiful nude beaded dress with...black slacks?? NO! 

10:54 pm: Bill Murphy looks either very old or drunk...perhaps both....but I adore him...so sarcastic.  Best musical/comedy goes to "Green Book" . Director gives a beautiful speech about race issues. Says how this movie tells the tale of two men who were total opposites but grew to respect each other and remain best friends till they both died in 2013. Amazing story.  

11:04 pm: Gary Oldman looks great.  Glenn Close wins for "The Wife".  She looks great in her black and silver trimmed Armani dress.  I really thought Gaga would win but I'm so glad that an older nominee won.  She made the most heart warming, tear-jerking speech ever.  It was about her elderly mom and other older women that were submissive to their husbands and raised their children yet didn't get an opportunity to work outside the house. Finally at the end of their lives they feel they have accomplished nothing by just being a "mom and wife". So sad, especially since raising decent children and maintaining a household is one of the hardest jobs out there. To all moms (married and single) who try and fill their homes with love and morals.... I am in AWE of you.  

11:13 pm: Julianne Moore is wearing a white Givenchy dress. Richard Gere makes the most uncomfortable comment of the night....unlike most stars that tell their kids to "go to bed now" from the stage.. He oddly tells his (30 years younger) wife to go to bed...yuck..talk about  creepy.  He definitely has aged quite a bit recently.  Best actor in a drama film goes to Rami Malek for "Bohemian Rhapsody." very well deserved.  He looks sophisticated in a white bow tie Givenchy tux.  He is very humble.  

11:18 pm: Nicole Kidman looks dynamite in a tight long sleeved maroon Michael Kors leather dress.  "Bohemian Rhapsody" wins best drama. Queen band members are so excited and join them on stage. Big shout out to the late Freddy Mercury.

The End

BEST DRESSED: Taylor Swift
WORST DRESSED: Lucy Lui