These are not in ranking order
"Broken For You" by Stephanie Kallos
"Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse (If I want to know where nirvana is I'll ask Cobain)
"Julius Caesar" by William Shakespeare (should be William Shakemeawake)
"Book of Illusions" by Paul Auster (the only illusion was how this got published)
"The Scarlett Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne (zzzzzzz)
"The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain (I've had better adventures)
"The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom
"The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold (started okay, but the end was ridiculous)
"The Straight Man" by Richard Russo (maybe he should have been gay)
"And Then There Were None" by Agatha Christie (and even that was one too many)
"Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach (what was this guy smoking?)
"The Birth of Venus" by Sarah Dunant (and the death of my attention span)
"Lullaby" by Chuck Palahniuk (better known as "The Ring")
"Digging to America" by Anne Tyler (and when you're done digging throw yourself in the hole, Anne)
"Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe (and this book is a perfect example of that)
"Johnny Tremain" by Esther Forbes (even the children of Springfield hate it)
"The Halloween Tree" by Ray Bradbury
"A Day No Pigs Would Die" by Norman Peck (but they'd wish they did if they had to read this book)
"Killing Mr. Griffen" by Lois Duncan (or killing your readers?)
"Master Harold and the Boys" by Althol Fugard
"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" by Tennesse Williams (cleaver title, I was tricked!)
"Necessary Targets" by Eve Ensler
"The Canterbury Tales," by Geoffrey Chaucer (Chaucer was so bored himself he didn't even finish the damn book)
"Mythology" by Edith Hamilton (the title should have warned me)
"The Pioneers" by James Fenimore Cooper (like I said the title, yeah I should have known)
"Beowulf" by Anonymous (better known as "Puff the Magic Dragon")
"Jacob, Have I Loved?" by Katherine Paterson
"The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath (The Barf Jar)
"A Lesson Before Dying" by Ernest J. Gaines (yeah, don't read this book)
"Ash Wednesday" by Ethan Hawke (some can only do it once)
"I Never Promised You a Rose Garden" by Joanne Greenberg (but I promise to never recommend this book)
"Holidays on Ice" by David Sedaris (the first story was the only funny one)
"Mrs. Dalloway" by Virginia Woolf
"The Hours" by Michael Cunningham (I never say this but, "rent the movie")
"Postcards From the Edge" by Carrie Fisher
"The Abortion" by Richard Brautigan (this book should have been aborted)
"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte
"The Pigman" by Paul Zindel (smells like bacon)
"Jewel" by Bret Lott
"Cry, the Beloved Country" by Alan Patton (cry, the reader)
"Balzac & the Little Chinese Seamstress" by Dai Sijie
"The Shipping News" by E. Anne Proulx (this got a Pulitzer?!?)
"How I Became Stupid" by Martin Page (by reading this book)
"The Obituary Writer" by Porter Shreve (he should write an obituary for his book)
"All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum (apparently he didn't learn to be interesting)
"Amsterdam" by Ian McEwan
"Black Water" by Joyce Carol Oates (I blacked out)
"The Wonder Boys" by Michael Chabon (I rather watch "The Wonder Years")
"Mother of Pearl" by Melinda Haynes (@!Mother of God!?#@)
"The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards (not a memory I want to keep)
"1,000 White Women" by Jim Fergus
"Something Special" by Iris Murdoch
"Are You There Vodka? It's me Chelsea" by Chelsea Handler (love her show, book sucked)
"For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Ernest Hemingway (I didn't hear no bells)
"The Cat Who Came For Christmas" by Cleveland Amory
"Wicked" by Gregory Maguire (wickedly bad)
"The Haunting of Hill House" by Shirley Jackson (the boring plot was the scariest part)
"The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" David Wroblewski (not a story worth telling)
"Across Five Aprils" by Irene Hunt
"The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck (what a let down)
"Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson ( oh..the horror)
"Oranges are Not the Only Fruit" by Jeanette Winterson (rather have had a lemon squeezed into my eyes)
"Dandelion Wine" by Ray Bradbury (someone get me a drink!)
"Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn (this author needs to be gone. Second book I read by her that stunk.)
"1984" by George Orwell ( writing was so dense it should be titled "1684")
"The Wave" by Todd Strasser (a wave of boredom. I was waiting for a climax that never came.)
"Paper Towns" by John Green (plot was paper thin.)
"The Marriage Plot" by Jeffrey Eugenides
"The Girl on the Train" by Paula Hawkins (rather be run over by a train)
"Christmas at Harrington's" by Melody Carlson
"Songs For the Missing" by Stewart O'Nan
"The Middle Place" by Kelly Corrigan
"The Life All Around Me" by Kaye Gibbons (shame cause she's one of my favorite authors)
"The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood (why does this book get praised?? ZZZZ)
"The Gold Coast" by Nelson DeMille (ridiculously bad writing)
"Ecco Book of Christmas Stories by Selected Authors ("good job book, way to ruin Christmas!")
"See What I Have Done" by Sarah Schmidt (great subject matter, wasted on a terrible book)
"The Gods of Newport" by John Jakes
"Homer and Langley" by E.L. Doctorow (not accurate at all)
"Love Saves the Day" by Gwen Cooper (no saving this book)
"Marley" by Jon Clinch (wonderful topic, ruined by boring writing)
"The Nickel Boys" by Colson Whitehead (so boring and pointless)
"Tinkers" by Paul Harding (This won the Pulitzer?!?)
"The Crazed" Ha Jin (I was...whiling waiting for this book to finally end)
"My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry" by Fredrik Backman (such nonsense)
"Solomon Gursky Was Here" by Mordecai Richler (ramblings)
"Little Bee" by Chris Cleave
"Diving Women" by Kaye Gibbons (dreadful. and she's one of my favorite authors)
"Nemesis" by Philip Roth (ZZZZ)
"Love" by Roddy Doyle (utter disappointment from a fabulous writer)
"This Side of Paradise" by F. Scott Fitzgerald (so pretentious)
"Lost Among the Living" by Simone St. James
"The New Me" by Halle Butler (no point)
"West of Sunset" by Stewart O'Nan (great topic, epic fail)
"The Final Girl Support Group" by Grady Hendrix (too melodramatic)
"A Piece of the World" by Christina Baker Kline (Zzzzzz)
"White Chrysanthemum" by Mary Lynn Bracht (too graphic)
"Tolstoy and the Purple Chair" by Nina Sankovitch (too much about the author and not books)
"Anxious People" by Fredrik Backman (I'm done with him. Talk about "Ove" being a one hit wonder!)
"Oh, William!" by Elizabeth Strout (done with her also. Her first book was the only good book)
"Ghost Eaters" by Clay McLeod Chapman (another melodramatic modern book)
updated 11/2023
